Monday, December 26, 2005
i would've loved to take credit for this picture, but i didn't capture it.but i can do this:
i know e model!!!
haa.
that's Sheereen a.k.a shee gaL
e aspiring drama-mama (stage actress with Teater Kami yo!).
which she sometimes bring out in her real-life persona.
which leads to her being e subject of tease between me & missNaatasha.
more for missNaatasha i fink.
hee.
ouhkeh here's what everybody say about her:
bubbly.friendly
i say she is kepo.
loud.
selenge sometimes.
unpredictable when it comes to meeting her.
suka buih orang.
no just kidding.
just a lil bit kidding.
hee.
why do i still love her?
because i don't forget my pillars.
those who kept me up.
she did, for a while, not much nowadays due to our different paths.
but that while counted.
and this ongoing friendship ultimately counts.
a friendship where less meet-ups don't equal less understanding.
so to my beautiful friend whom i would always love to hang out with,
in my opinion,
this accounts for something.
and just to show off my nephew, Syafiz Izzrul (if you see him i betcha fink he looks like Chicken Little, and cute like that even!):
and this has been another session with pandafaRt.
individual.not.loner
12/26/2005 08:30:00 PM
hi everyone!!!
i am proud to announce...
i
am
an
aunt
to
yet
another
niece!
e latest addition to my 6 nephews & 4 nieces.
now i have 6 nephews & 5 nieces.
apa lagi???
combined football team weh!!!
presenting...
Marishka Izzadelle (don't ask me, my bro & wife named her) & me feeling maternal:
marishka heee... marishka haaa... marishka heee... marishka hah!hah!
my another baby's gone back to camp...
individual.not.loner
12/26/2005 08:04:00 PM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
And so in amidst of transforming,
pandafaRt seemed to see something visualizing in e smoke.
"a tree?" "eh moving tree? Lord of e Rings???" "but I AM e Lord of e Rings!"
then, it visualized.
and there stood a bushy head attached to e not-so-bushy-body-or-don't-know-lah-never-seen-naked-before, Kukubirdie.
"a Kukubirdie? in here? why eh?"
"haaaiii..."
"what e..."
e Kukubirdie catwalked towards pandafaRt and waved its unusually feminine hand.
"haaaaiii...panda you so cute ow! i..."
"Kukubirdie! how...are you weh?"
"hehehehe. call me Lotus..."
and so started a conversation that led to a Kukubirdie giggling at every wobble pandafaRt makes, and like, euw larh eh?
pandafaRt was angry at what e Black Witch of Markerous Dark did to e once-macho Kukubirdie now e (fill in e blank) Lotus.
so pandafaRt gave 5 curses to KukuLotus to kasi habes e witch,
but blardy hell...
he/she was happy being a Shim (she-him you weeedeeyuts).
and went off.
but not before rubbing some bushy hair from up there, not down there, at pandafaRt's nose, ala "grrly-grrl-kissy-kissy-cheek-cheek-greeting/goodbye".
does e lotus flower smell like kukubird?
so what gitu loh.
oh why this story?
read adi kukubiRdie's blog to find out.
individual.not.loner
12/25/2005 01:04:00 AM
hi.
my tummy must be taking revenge on me for complaining about my lack of bowel motions.
i can't even complete this post properly.
weh...
i'll try.
was reading Leesa's blog,
about Tsunami.
well, over a year now but it still is much-talked about.
it made me afraid of being near e sea.
it made me finally wanting to pray.
wanting to appreciate my loved ones.
wanting to make life worthwhile.
i remember somefing that happened while i was at Wild Wild Wet.
there was this area,
this particular activity there that was fun and exciting.
i really was laughing and just letting go.
when i suddenly realised that area is called "Tsunami".
and i suddenly lost zest to continue,
then i just sat down by e side, watching people splash and laugh while e "Tsunami waves" came in currents.
it's such that a certain bell would ring, then e "Tsunami" will start,
meaning e once calm waters will move in fast, strong waves ala "Tsunami".
and i just shuddered at how insensitive i could be.
taking joy in being splashed and tossed around by e waves.
while people have died, homes have been destroyed from e real Tsunami.
i don't know if i'll ever take part in that area of Wild Wild Wet again.
i'm not judging anybody.
it's me, i just feel so wrong. like i wronged.
well so much for serious entries.
hope you lightened up your moment by indulging in my short story/script/dialogue/whatever-you-may-call-it, in "e Kukubirdie named Lotus".
and myaRt's back! yay. 2 days pun 2 days larh.
NAAT? SHEE? yes i was excited. you know i am. "wink.wink."
individual.not.loner
12/25/2005 12:51:00 AM
Thursday, December 22, 2005
and so i comply,
with anna's request,
of me to do this dumdum questionaire,
and thus i will,
not without my own request,
of 5 other people to do it too,
at e end of this questionaire,
and if you're a friend,
you will comply,
even if it seems dumdum to you.
Rules of the game: Post 5 weird/random things about yourself. At the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to do this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!
mamak, apa ada?
semua ada!
okehlarh mamak, questionaire satu!
1. i am pandafaRt, but i don't really faRt much. i faRt goooooood. nyeh.
2. i handle e Mushroom Swiss Double @ Burger King in 7 steps.
1) put e top bun to one side
2) sweep all e mushrooms to another side with a french fry (or leave some in e burger)
3) put e top meat to another side of e wrapper
4) put chilli sauce in remaining patty
5) put e top bun on e patty & NGAP! (or dip in more chilli sauce/dips)
6) eat e patty dipped in chilli sauce/dips
7) eat e mushrooms slowly, dipped in chilli sauce & preferable mayonnaise
3. i have a thing for scars. not excessively, just... sexy, suitably-marked scars. hee.
4. i swoon at e sight of good-looking guys wearing white.
5. i have not passed motion for two days and i fink it's gon' be a butt-tearing one tonight.
naat nuT, shee gaL, adi kukubiRdie, azmi tiutiu, myWiccan Leesa
p.s: please post more WEIRD fings about yourself. please please!!!
actually i wanted lots more to do, but gee, if it says 5, 5 larh!!!
but if more people do this,
then more people would be victims.
and we all would live in a fair world.
yay!
and if you fink i am talking nonsense, please read my other entry below.
individual.not.loner
12/22/2005 09:58:00 PM
hi.
my nephew's pee found its way out of his diapers to my lap just now,
which was tastefully adorned in Levi's jeans.
well i must admit it gave quite a vintage look, people see sand-blown, mud-stained and whatever-nots but are they ready for wet patched???
ouhkeh so whatever.
i just wiped it off.
anyvays.
only 20 and already athritical, if ever such a word.
athritis.
correct me if e spelling's wrong, lazy to check it up.
walk for a few hours & felt e strain.
must drink more miLk.
mummy, nak nyot nyot~
gee what's wrong with me.
ouhkeh so whatever.
what?
you say my entry's crap?
if i wanted your opinion, i would beat e hell out of you to get it.
if i wanted shit, i would squeeze e hell out of your brain.
you talk shit so much it can plant a forest.
p.s: i fink you're prolly just unlucky 'cos obviously you don't know that it's unlucky not to name EVERY ant you see.start from tomorrow.
i'm mean?
so what gitu loh.
ouh, hi Naat & Shee.hee.
(and i am not mean, i got all 'em meany lines from a book.haa)
individual.not.loner
12/22/2005 09:42:00 PM
Monday, December 19, 2005
wild wild wet!
yeh.fun man.
that place down at Downtown East.
what made it more fun were crazy cousins.
and free tickets, free food and nice weather!
i have a lil blushy cheeks now.
it'll disappear soon, i fink.
i don't have pictures to show for...
i mean e trip.
but believe me, doing anything with e right company will be fun fun fun!
anything? that's all to each his/her own opinion of what's "anything" or "everything".
there was this Sky Ride, where u kinda cycle on track above everybody in e water-theme park.
"if someone pees from up there, he/she can say to all e people down there 'i'm wild & you're wet!'"
i was horrified.i thought my cousin who said that would do it himself.euw.
fun fun fun!
next stop...
Jurong!
ouh aRt, aRt... where art thou, aRt?
individual.not.loner
12/19/2005 06:16:00 PM
(from your right to e left)
that's me, Leesa n some grrl i don't know.
duh.
no, e grrl is Leesa.
e dolphin was e victim of a marsh attack.
as you can see Leesa finks that e dolphin is real & that dolphins eats marshmellows.
she finks it's funny.
as you can see i was still trying to smile while trying to brush her crazy hand away.
hee.
who IS Leesa?
i would've put her real name but it's beautiful so i rather not.
this is MY BLOG!hmmph.
she is e selaRt to my beetch.
because of her i will bear e burden of e sin of calling someone a degrading term instead of her name.
but we'll soon repent, when we're married and have kids and all, you know?
can't be having em call her Aunt Selart.
(shudder)
well she laughs hysterically.
she is sarcastic.
she has one of e biggest!!!
LARGEST!!!
ENORMOUS!!!
generosity in her heart that shows in her soothing aura.
i don't really know her that long.
really?
i fink coming to 2 years of acquaintance.
but well some months ago then we suddenly miss n love each other and she can't live without me.
hee.
neh...what i mean is i just feel this sense of closeness with her.
like how i felt with a certain JaE before.(hi JaE!)
it's hard for me to get that sister-love feeling, but when i do, i try to strengthen e bond.
it didn't always work out for me, so i'll just do what i do, and wait.
i knew i like Leesa e first time i met her.
sarcastic.noisy.crazy.opinionated.
not offensive,hearty,engaging and interesting.
i thought she had an exotic face.
i still do fink that.
she's an example of big & beautiful.
in more ways than one,
she's a gem of a friend, i am sure, to her best friends.
who can top being a top-notch librarian and listening to Blink182 like mad too?
in my opinion, that should account for something.
Leesa, i hope for our friendship to stay crazy as it is but stronger in time.
and this has been another session with pandafaRt.
individual.not.loner
12/19/2005 05:30:00 PM
Friday, December 16, 2005
e one in e pinky skirt is my sidekick, Afiqah.
she's e blind asthmatic cow to my panda truck driver.
(an inside joke with her, sorry, you won't get e image right, hee)
she is very noisy.
sometimes people tell her to take off her tudung.
she is very apologetic and feels sorry for almost everything.
she finks she's not pretty.
she looks up very highly to her sister and falls down hard doing that.
she is cheeky.
she likes to drool over cute guys.
she is sometimes e butt of jokes/teases.
she feels like she's nothing sometimes.
........................................................
her noise soothes me.
she's noisy but she's not wild nor is she cheap and she, unlike some people, doesn't wear tight-fitting clothes while wearing e tudung. she prays at masjid, go to terawih, and i say, keep e tudung.
she likes to take e blame for almost everything, but i say, our religion teaches us strength & humility and not to bow down to people. so i hope she finds her strength.
about her being not pretty, i don't want to comment. if i say she is, she would say she's not, and i say, beauty is in e eye of e beholder.
her sister is a good example, but i hope she'll learn to be e best of herself rather than imagining how would she be as good as her sister.
her cheekiness matches mine except i don't drool. (hee)
i still fink people tease her because she's adorable, not because she's hated.
and moomoo, you are something.
you're a cheeky blind asthmatic cow.who can top that?
well, in my opinion, that should count for somefing.8)
and this is Teuku Ryan from Indonesia.
my not drool-worthy idol, but heart-melting star...
hey don't judge me, even myaRt says so. and don't judge him...hee
Teuku Ryan is my So What Gitu Loh? answer to Afiqah's Zumi Zola. hee~
so wanna see your name and your profile, in my opinion, in my blog?
tag me.
and this has been another session with pandafaRt.
individual.not.loner
12/16/2005 06:36:00 PM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
i don't know what's up with my entry headline today.
oh well.
e lemak cili padi crabs were a delish, man.
oh yeh bebeh.
and i've written 6 songs.
oh yeh bebeh.
e Backstreet Boys are coming to town.
oh yeh bebeh.
oh yeh bebeh.
for you Melayu bebehs.
do you realise some Malay people say:
"cuba try"
you know like, you want to try on clothes at a store,
e Malay salesperson go:
"cuba try"
or you looking at some food or sumfing:
again they say:
"cuba try"
then again, you might've not experienced this, well i have.
so if you fink i'm fibbing,
i have 4 words for you.
so what gitu loh.
individual.not.loner
12/13/2005 05:24:00 PM
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Coffee, Tea & Theories
and your host for today, pandafaRt!
hi and i welcome you to another session of
Coffee, Tea & Theories.
so what is it all about today?
i address this to e ladies, but gentle(or not)men, you're welcome to watch.
Chivalry.
you know, ye olden Knights who were gentlemen and all.
that brought about e century old tradition of "Ladies First".
did you stop and fink why is that?
well e morbid side of me thought of this.
so we'll be put in danger first.
maybe all these while we thought e knights were doing our sisters a favour,
when they actually had a hidden agenda.
go first.eat first.walk first.see first.
step into danger first?
so if this is true, we have been made a cuckold out of by those crooked uhms, cocks.
maybe all these years we females have been laughed at!
but, *cough.
it's just a theory.
we still feel flattered by traditional gentlemanly manner, aren't we?
and e humorous side of me thought of this.
(this is concerning 'em asking us to walk ahead first, go up first.)
they ask us to go first because...
they want to look at our butt!
logical innit???
"it's ok, ladies first" and then you comply gratefully.
you don't notice he/they snicker,snicker & look at your booty.
but then again,
who am i to say?
i might add, some of us are flattered our booty is being checked out.
hee.
blardy hell...
that's all i have for you today!
again,
who am i to say?
if you don't like this session i have 4 words for you.
so what gitu loh?
individual.not.loner
12/11/2005 03:16:00 PM
Saturday, December 10, 2005
hi.
Bands in a Box @ The Substation was exhilarating!
Blardy brilliant i tell ya.
One of e best gigs ever to be worth my $5, i might add.
and e blardy shocker was,
i still went,
despite being alone.
and i fink today made me improve my socializing skills weh?
got acquainted with some new people along e way amidst e crowd,
and caught up with some old friends.
and even had a phonecall from a dear friend who doesn't know i miss him so.
so i was alone, but wasn't lonely!
hurrah.
and i almost moshed pit my way in.
but i didn't.
ye olden days. no more.
i fink i am gon' be fine in this Now Solo stage,
but i still wish he was with me.
individual.not.loner
12/10/2005 11:30:00 PM
Friday, December 09, 2005
It felt cold.
Somewhere a warmth is remembered with much
fondness and crave, but where has the warmth gone to?
Vast clearings aggravated the icy winds that would have frozen if not
for its little doses that yet were enough to cause useless rubbings of arms. The walks
by closed doors led to a step into a bright place with many others who settled down to comfortable plush seating, but where has the warmth gone to?
The closed doors greeted the many faces again moments later. Groups were
dispersed, scattered like wayward thoughts in a winding mind. Amidst the noisy chatter, droopy eyes depicted weary ponder. The cold air was still around, but where has the
warmth gone to?
And finally there, in a certain corner in that cold place, that definite source
of warmth visualized and awaited to be embraced like an oasis of heat in a freezing land. The short moments that followed brought about a surge of warm surroundings that led to
the forgotten coldness. But suddenly time seemed to fast forward and brought me alone amidst a crowd, making my way home with a contracted heart that caused my short
bouts of breathless breathing.
Where has my warmth gone to? The cold place has taken him away. QTB
goodnight, everybody. goodnight...my love.
individual.not.loner
12/09/2005 10:11:00 PM
hi.
i am home.
eventually, it came down to teary eyes pretending to watch Madagascar last wee morning.
now i am trying to deal.
friggin' harder than e first time. Blardy hell i tell ya.
later.
individual.not.loner
12/09/2005 02:57:00 PM
Thursday, December 08, 2005
e tired fallen falls beneath e Earth's sky...
to rise again, he said to me, i'll try.
underneath e surface.
what lies beneath e surface of so many whom we know but we actually don't?
hello people.
well.
yesterday, i went shopping.
not too much tho.
some essentials.
and to my great delight i found unique stuff to buy.
yay!
gee, this is getting boring.
what people actually blog about?
personal lives...
i try to blog about that but i can't do it everytime.
gee...
so what is this blogger to do?
i guess i'll tell a short story i wrote.
(ehem)
he looks up for answers.
"would there be no sign at all?" he pondered aloud, almost in desperation.
no answers seemed to be coming and his energy was running out of its time.
the breeze levelled dry leaves to his moist eyes.
everywhere he was being seen.
small, big, tiny, round and all other kinds of eyes, which almost all only saw but didn't look for they couldn't understand his presence there.
some flew, some wriggled and some were content moving about the ground where his feet and knee were planted.
he tears at his head like his hair was paper.
"i can't take this anymore!!!" where once he kneeled, he was lying now.
all beings once near him, scuttered now with the sudden thud that crushed leaves and sent some flying, as the observant few might wonder, why was this species this way?
wasn't it just a month ago that it came with another being of its kind, they might recall.
two people.singing.dancing.laughing.moist eyes...somehow the aura was different.
today it was just one.screaming.kneeling.hands to the sky.hands to the head.moist eyes...
but they will soon have stopped wondering and continued their journey, while the dark sky was soon to mourn the pain of the one fallen beneath it.
and they will share together, moist eyes. QTB
individual.not.loner
12/08/2005 12:30:00 PM
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
hi.
turns out i didn't spend e day alone yesterday.
so here's an entry to fulfill your kpo needs.
in e evening missNaatasha asked me to accompany her to check out a band's (that would be playing at this coming Saturday's gig, Bands in a Box: CHECK OUT "LOCAL GIGS" @tink-a-Links) jamming session.
not bad.
i get a rush seeing female guitarists.
not that i have lesbian tendencies.
hee.
after doing e acting-producer(just me.she's an actual,haa) stint, we head on down to sip some teh at some cafe.
ouhkeh.
here's some juicy information.
e waiter was flirting with us.
and luckily for us, his blond hair suited his face.
(come on, you girls won't mind a good-looking flirter, am i right or am i right?)
and there was one time i was left alone at e table while missNaatasha went to settle e bill.
my seat was directly facing e kitchen.
i was playing with e ice-cream spoons, then i looked up.
saw him looking at me.
and he didn't look away.
and he held e gaze.
like what-e-fish.
"padanlah dia tak dengar bila orang panggil-panggil dia tadi(no wonder he didn't hear them calling him)", missNaatasha informed me of e waiter's distraction when his staff called him after i told her about e held-gaze incident, which she swiftly saved me from with her appropriate arrival.
sometimes i tend to blush easily.
i still blush around myaRt. who came to fetch me at night.
whom i spent walking e night with after bidding farewell to missNaatasha.
for e first time in so long, we passed Tong Seng at Bugis.
passed, didn't go in to eat because we had already eaten at home.
then we walked on water.
e Esplanade fountain lah.
while he was talking i was secretly finking how would i be living after this Friday.
it takes one realization to see how much of him is in my life.
but i am still guilty of having this one special space in my heart for someone who doesn't love me.
i've stopped trying to forget.
individual.not.loner
12/06/2005 02:09:00 PM
Monday, December 05, 2005
Coffee, Tea & Theories
or is it?
hi.
i am prolly gon' be home alone e whole day today.
or let's just put this as: alone.
it's a dark, cloudy day...
e rain accompanies my lonely heart.
bla bla bla...
e usual emo-blog during rainy days/silent nights.
"i feel so alone", "i feel down", or e ever so popular:
"i feel so depressed".
i am not spared e syndrome.
did i mention i'm gon' be alone?
so yeh. prolly i would blog up some stuff/updates.
honestly i really am not a fan of posting what i did today, yesterday or anyday except if it's really something i have to tell.
but reading others' blogs sometimes,
and realizing i loved reading about their daily life(sometimes) too,
do i realize that people in Singapore just wants to read gossip.
including I.
who are we kidding?
we're never gon be into political blogs.
we read newspapers for that.
who are we kidding...
are we all even interested in politics...
are we all even interested in making changes,
other than complain...complain...complain...?
do we really have e courage & determination to make a powderful, n yes i meant powerful, blog that would change lives?
maybe some of us.
i don't know.
so what gitu loh?
at e moment i'm more inclined to post about e wrongdoings being done to me.
or should i post about how i feel like crying?
or maybe how disappointed i am?
i don't know.
i'll be back later.
i don't even know if you wanna read my entries.
so basically, i'm conversing with myself.
which is alright, considering i can answer my own questions & blame myself if something's wrong or HURT myself if i am angry.nyeheheh.depressing.
later.
individual.not.loner
12/05/2005 02:40:00 PM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
this is for e romantics.
P.S: please read e IMPORTANT entry before(e entry below lah dumdum) this poetic post.
"Hath been We"
(thanks to Mimi for reminding me that i love to write poetry, and here's a piece)
the mystery of it all
thou e cause of my fall
amidst finding myself i found thee
for thy wast lost in my reverie
between exchanges by Sun and Moon
Truth wast not too soon
between formality between strangers
who couldst predict; not I, not thee, Lover
shalt we pursue, is it not Danger;
shalt we discontinue, is it not in Favour;
upon a Red Bed i departed thy name
with each life of it, e next never e same
new Realm as it is, tangle my nerves
quench my thirst with e cup i'm served
thou wast an addition, now a character
doth shalt i name my new chapter?
in thee; shalt i a cure, begotten
in us; shalt i my ill, forgotten
for I, for thee, we wast not aware
it hath always been, it hath always bear
Fate, that slipped us gingerly by
For it hath always been thee;
as it hath always been I.
-QTB
bite, at your own unoriginality.
individual.not.loner
12/01/2005 10:37:00 PM
seriously.
non-taggers.
why DON'T you tag?
DON'T ask, "why must i?"
come on, make known your presence.
especially if you know me.let me put this as FRIENDS.
those who actually hang with me and have reason to read my blogs to understand me.
i don't believe you don't have opinions, yo.
help make this blog an interactive one.
especially those who tag at other blogs except mine.
or those i tag but don't tag me.
do you or they even read my blog?
if you or they don't read my blog.
if you or they don't tag my blog.
WHY SHOULD I DO BOTH FOR YOU OR THEIRS?
why e dilly am i even in e Links.what shayt is this.
blardy hell...
speaking of which,i don't read some of e blogs in my Links either.
so what e dilly?
maybe i'll delete some in a month.
those who don't read mine,and those whom i don't read theirs.
maybe.
gee.
why am i making a fuss outta this?
and why MAYBE i'll delete?
PMS, yo.
i might change my mind.
i might be nicer.
might even be badder.
deal with that.
yo.
individual.not.loner
12/01/2005 10:21:00 PM
i would've loved to take credit for this picture, but i didn't capture it.
